The Real Taiwan American Embassay

America has a crap load of embassies all over the world and for the most part they are absolutely beautiful. There are only TWO countries in the world that do not have an American embassy. The first being Iran (who would have thunk?) and the second being Taiwan. Although, there is the American Institute in Taiwan. Now if you squint your eyes and turn your head a little bit, The American Institute in Taiwan (AIT) is a de facto American Embassy. Some people believe it is de facto because in the late 70's the US established relations with the People's Republic of China, but I think it is de facto because it is so freaking ugly.



What is up with this building? It is unacceptably ugly. The scooter trip from my work to AIT is only 10 minutes, but it took me 30 minutes because I couldn't find it.In my mind I pictured this beautiful modern looking glass building with American flags not an newly renovated shoe factory.

So I suggest we do away with this embarrassment and innovate by outsourcing are government affairs to Costco. There are a lot of good reasons for this. The first being everyone in Taiwan loves Costco. Buying a 24 rolls of toilet paper at rock bottom prices is not only an American obsession, but also a Taiwan obsession. The second being, and the most important, you actually feel like you are in America. The store is has big products with wide aisles, tons of processed food and pre-manufactured outdoor furniture. America deserves an Embassay that bespeakes the ideals of an American., or at least me.



So early this week I was need of some American loving. My options are McDonalds, the American Insitute or Costco. The choice was easy (partly because I already had a Big Mac earlier that day) I was going Costco. So I jumped on my scooter, filled up the tank, and took off to America.

Thirty minutes later, including an emergency oil change, I was inside Costco. At first I was elated, I was back in the land whole sale prices cheap steaks. Then I felt awkwardly out of place. I was thinking....why is shopping cart so big? Ok, all you Americans, you might not know this, but that SUV sized shopping cart you wealed is freaking enormous. Here is the size of the shopping cart I normally use.


Yes, it is small but for someone with only scooter it holds plenty. It also doesn't make you feel like a total loser when you don't have much in your cart. Which is what happened to me when I couldn't find my elusive Mexican food and I only had baby carrots.


I felt like an awful American. Luckily I eventually found what I was looking for.


So I loaded my cart with a 2lb bag of tortillas and two jars of salsa.

So then I took my gigantic shopping to the check out line. Paid about $23 US dollars and headed back home. For the next 5 days I dined on tortillas and salsa. It sure wasn't a tamale or a chimichanga but my de facto mexican food was good enough for now.

Trip To Hualien

I went to Hualien last weekend, which is like the vacation hot spot for all the 23 million people of Taiwan. Irene and I took a train over there.


The train is really nice because you can lay back on the sits. Since we left on a Friday, we really liked to lay down in the nice seats.


It was a three hour train ride, not bad at all on those comfortable chairs. When we go to Hualien, the hotel operator said they would give us a lift to the scooter rental shop at 9:00 the next morning. So the next morning we woke up, got some Chinese breakfast and got our scooters.


This scooter is 10X better than the scooter I actually own in Taipei. This one didn't actually die while it was idle. haha. It was definitely nice having a scooter in Hualien though, the roads were really cool.


One of the reasons Hualien is so famous, is there is a Taroka National Park close by. The park is part of a famous highway that was built after WWII. The workers that died during the creation of the highway were memorialized with this temple.



The temple is absolutely beautiful and I would have gotten closer but they were renovating it. I took some pictures of the other statues close by.




I believe this is Buddhist.



This is definitely buddhist. Not the pale short one, but the tall golden one.


Here is a panorama picture I took on top of temple.

We went hiking on one of the famous trail caves. These caves are not lit at all and sometimes it is pitch black.



Irene and I went into this cave that is right under a waterfall. There were a ridiculous amount of people there, partly because the Taiwan Golden Retriever Club came.


Irene loved the dogs. The dogs loved the attention

The next morning we got to sleep in, then we went dolphin watching. It was cool and all was well until we got on the boat. I don't have sea legs nor do I have a sea belly. I was as blue as the water for a while but we did get to see some dolphins. Unfortunately your inept cameraman was too sick to take any good photos.

I promise those dark spots are dolphins.

After the boat of eternal dizziness we took off on our scooter to the train station. We needed to catch the 5:20 train. When we got there there seemed to be a problem, there was no 5:20 train. So Irene went running across the station to find out what happened.


It turned out that we got tickets for the 5:20 AM train, and that if we wanted tickets there were no guarantees that we would get seats. Which was Chinese for you will not get seats. So for three hours I sat in between a wall and a row of seats like a bum.


I thought this wasn't a big deal. Taiwan has never been a continuously comfortable place anyway but Irene wasn't too happy about the whole thing. I did have a picture of her, but I think she deleted it. haha.

Fulong Beach

Last weekend was beautiful, so instead of stuffing ourselves inside the apartment all day we hopped on the scooter and went to Fulong beach.  

 

They sell little boats here, probably do it next time.

The happy couple.

Couple of surfers and a buddhist temple. 

That guy is way too ugly to be going out with her.

Found a crab by the shore. 

Seafood is very popular in Taiwan.

I didn't want to feel left out.

Pumpkin Pie

This is a story about a man and his struggles against Taiwan. This is a story about a man and his search for a pumpkin pie.

The pumpkin story actually happened three months ago.  I just got done talking to the bank about sending money back home and I got really frustrated.  So frustrated I thought I had no control over my life in Taiwan. Then at that very moment, I had a craving for pumpkin pie. I was like angry pregnant women enamored about strawberries and peanut butter - I had to get my pumpkin pie. 

I talked to my boss and she told me the only place I could buy pumpkin pie was at Costco and that was 1/2 an hour away.  She explained to me I had to get back for work in 1 and 1/2 hours and the chances of me getting there, buying the pumpkin pie, not getting lost and coming back in time were little to none.  I felt another pang of frustration and nearly gave up like a dog realizing there was glass in between him and his food. 

But, I was angry pregnant women and damned everything in my way between myself and that pumpkin pie. I took off on my scooter. 

I raced down Fuxing Road, through one of the most heavily congested areas in Taipei. Squeezed through crevices between cars and timed lights like a veteran bus driver.  I all too frequently get lost in Taipei and the chances of me getting lost now were getting higher because I started to travel down roads I've never been on. I just got on Miechuan Road and was getting excited, because I was getting near Costco.  I could taste my fattening thanksgiving pie, I knew I was going to get what I wanted. Then just as when I got on the beautiful Miechuan bridge crossing the Keelung river I realized I didn't have a Costco card.  Without a Costco card there will be no pie and without pie I would be defeated.   Then when I got off the bridge and was suppose to make an immediate right, the inevitable happened: I got lost. 

I was in deep desperation mode and contemplated giving up. I was lost, work started soon and I didn't even have a Costco card to even buy my pumpkin pie. Then a miracle happened, like the virgin marry appearing in a stained McDonald's collectable plate - I saw Costco. 

I've never been so happy to see a whole sale warehouse in my life. 

Here is a video of inside Costco. What a great bastion of American over consumption.

I quickly asked someone where their pumpkin pies were, but no one understood what pumpkin pie meant in English so I searched like a made man to find my pie. After looking for ten minutes I found them!

I look so much happier with my pumpkin pie. 

In all this excitement I forgot that I didn't have a Costco card and if I had to fill out an application in chinese for one, it would take forever. I would almost gave up but than I realized I could just ask someone to peggy back on their purchase. So I searched for a foreigner who I could communicate to.  Here comes my savior. 

This guy was really cool about the whole deal and wished me luck on my trip.  I am not only happy about how nice the Taiwanese are to the foreigners in Taiwan, but how nice foreigners are to other foreigners in Taiwan.  So I hopped on my scooter and headed back to work. 

Update And Some Pictures

I've been in Taiwan for about seven months and it has been all pretty awesome. I'm now taking Chinese classes at the Mandarin Training Center which turns out to be one of the oldest and most prestigious Mandarin schools in the world. The Mandarin Training Center started 1956 and since mainland China was a hardcore communist country, the MTC was the only game in town to learn Chinese. So all of these Chinese professors from the around the world and even foreign dignitaries studied there. In fact the current Prime Minster Kevin Rudd studied there!

Picture of the University where I learn Mandarin

I go to work from 9am to 6pm than I do a night class from 6:30 to 8:30 every night. So I get really crammed for time during the weekday, but I still have my weekends to unwind and see the island!


Here are some new photos I've taken.

People in Taiwan love there dogs. Even if that means exposing them to second hand smoke and degrading them by putting them in a bicycle basket.

7-Elevens are everywhere in Taiwan. Here is the one by my house I frequent for pre-made curries and Coca-Colas.

Slurpees, can't go without them.

Endless supply of instant noodles. I love it.

My friend Derek promised me those eggs taste much better than they looked...I should have never believed him. They tasted awful. I quickly bought a Coca-Cola and washed away my worries.


This is the weirdest thing that sells in ALL of the 7-Elevens. Adult one-time use underwear. It must be all that greasy food they eat here that creates a market for such a product.

Scooters in Taiwan

Here is a video of scooters lining up in traffic. This is a very normal day for me, as I wait on the intersection of XinHai and KeeLung to head to work.  

Pizza - Taiwan Style

I really miss some food back in the states. Yeah, I can get KFC or McDonald's in Taiwan (although, the menus are edited for local tastes...like rice hamburgers and oddly flavored chicken) but I can't get Arby's, Jack in the Box, or Taco Bell. I can't even find regular a pepperoni pizza! Although, I was in luck last night. I was eating at an Italian restaurant with Irene and I found pepperoni pizza....


If you read the description, it isn't pepperoni pizza but rather squid in, pork sasuage and salami. This though, is the closet thing I've found to pepperoni pizza. Yummy!

My Apartment In Taiwan

First Video to Mom and Dad
Uploaded by claphands22

Updated photos.